The Great Escape

Do I already have a post with this name? Oh well, who cares.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLD54dVRpjw&NR=1 <-- The Great Escape Acoustic. Listen to it, please. It's amazingly fastanstically beautiful. Oh yes. And check out their Let Go cover because that rocks too. It's not even funny how great it is.

Note: I just found out they have all the acoustics on itunes! Ah!

I haven't updated in a while; there's pretty much nothing to know. Did I tell you that I couldn't do the believe/lie thing for computers? Well, I can't. So I made some gay flower thing instead and I was totally unhappy with it, and my teacher didn't like it either. So today I wrote water and had the background ripples and the words all warped and wavy ripples like floating on the surface. I like it, but I still wish I could have done the other thing.

As you know, life is kind of sucking right now. I'm sort of not really feeling anything and just sort of going through with a fake smile and happiness. I'm not even excited for Homecoming, and we all know how the last football game went.

I don't even understand how I like Chad so much. Ughh afjkdlafjidos. We effing belong together. I just NEED HIM. AFDJLAEIOAE
And someone apparently told Bella that I like him *coughginnycough*, which I don't really mind I guess, but it's just the way she acts. She's in the stage where it's like "OMG you guys should so go out you guys would look so cute together!" And we all know that won't happen.

Speaking of Bella, she kind of bugs me. She's pretty nice and funny, but it irritates me how she says she's so ghetto and gangster. I'm okay if it's once in a while, because I mean, even I do it. It's just ALL THE TIME with her. And this is pretty personal, but I have a cousin who's a gangster. The real deal. And guess what? She's in jail for participating in a drive-by shooting and assaulting an officer. Newsflash Bella: you're not a gangster.

Now that THAT's off my chest, let's move to Tracey. I love her a bunch but she's just acting sort of, I don't know how to say it, off-put by me? She hangs out with her golf friends all the time and she just says, "Well they're so much more interesting that you guys!" And in science, I'll ask her something, and she flat out won't answer me. She ignores me.

And now for the best part (sarcasm), today I basically broke down in P.E. I'm walking to get Otter Pops, alone, and I'm trying to put up my hair again, and my hair tie snaps. The stupidest thing, but now I'm alone and my hair is screwed up because I have a huge dent in it and everything. Oh, and also feeling sick. So I try taking like deep breaths and fighting everything back, when Martha notices. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
'Oh please don't be talking to me.' "Yeah, just, my hair..."
"Are you okay??"
*nod* "Yeah.. just a little..." *deep breath*
"Is some one bothering you? You want me to talk to them?"
And then Serena hears, "Hey, are you feeling okay?"
'Goddammit, I just need to cool off' *nod*

When Kathryn and Tracey turn around and see me, and stop to let me catch up. Then we go through the whole are you okay thing.
Kathryn: "Oh, I'm sure she just feels sick from running, right?"
Me: "Yeah, just, stuff..."
Tracey: "Is it me? I thought you were mad at me??"
Me: "Well, kinda..." *deep breath* *gets teary* "I just.. don't want to talk about it.."


Fun, no? When Tracey was leaving P.E. early I hugged her and said I wasn't mad, but just a little frustrated. I'm going to shoot her an e-mail to explain.

When my mom was driving me home she asked if I wanted to go to Rolling Hills to pick up my brother and maybe see some old teachers. I told her no. So we get to where she's supposed to turn off to the house, but she doesn't turn. I get really pissed and just like 'Oh great.' She sees me mad and goes, "You don't have to get worked up over the little things."
I just lose it and go, "You know what? I've had a horrible day today and I don't feel like doing it right know okay??" And start crying.
She goes all motherly and says, "Oh, I know hormones are hard."

Thanks for not even attempting to believe life just might not be going to great for me. I really appreciate you writing it off as hormones without an explanation. It makes me feel oh so rational.




"There's beauty in the breakdown."- Let Go