Take a Step Back

Wow. So it's been almost a month since I've actually updated this thing. Mostly because.. well, my grandma passed away. I really didn't want to talk about it at first and then after neglecting the blog it just seemed too big to tackle. But I'll just say it now: Sarah Grant, rest in peace. I know you're happy now and you're with Don looking down on me. You will be missed, especially when anything reminds me of you. I just need to find the confidence that you aren't sad and that you don't want me to be sad either.



Now of course, anything else I say will seem superficial but I couldn't just NOT mention my grandma.

It's kind of hard to get started again since it's been so long, but I think I'll just delve into the dramaaa that plagues the group. Well, firstly, Ginny and Andy were very annoying. Then Ginny got mad at Andy for like a week because he "didn't seem to care" about her. And now they're back to "Big Bro" and "Lil Sis." Yay, everyone's happy (sarcasm). Lately I've been kind of.. avoiding those two, which secludes me from part of the group. Instead, when they went to Haunted Trails, I had an anti-Haunted Trails party at my house with Nicole, Chad, Jason, Shayon, and Angela. But more on that later ;). Basically, I'm just kind of.. done with Ginny. I'm not mad at her, we haven't fought, I still talk to her on AIM. The thing is, I just... don't like being around her too much? Let's face it, she's a little self-absorbed. If I could, I would just like.. break off with the whole anti-HT group. Which brings me to Angela. She told me that she thinks Andy has changed. Now, I can't really have an opinion there because I didn't know him too well before this year. She's been his best friend all through middle school. She says that he's getting a little bit of Ginny's meanish attitude. Today I was on the phone with Andy and Ginny and he was talking about how ANGELA has changed, and how she's started being mean to him. Me and Ginny both just told him to talk to her. I don't really know what's going on; I'll probably try to coax some more out of Angela tonight.

Sooo the anti party! It was definitely a blasty-blast. We baked pumpkin bread and picked out dirty words on the fridge and played Rock Band and chilled in the living room and were amazed at Jason's amazing bass playing. Hanging out in the living room gave me an extreme sense of security and comfort. Everyone being there and everyone being comfortable and happy just made for an awesome "moment." Jason still seems, well, pretty freaking cool. It was really great. I know he felt truly comfortable and open and I'm just glad I got to spend that time with him, and I feel like I'm becoming a real friend to him. (P.S.: I was alone with him in my room ;)


Oh, and last order of business: CONCERT THIS FRIDAY! All Time Low, The Maine, Every Avenue, and Mayday Parade. I'm going with Nicole and Bella, and uh, it'll be pretty freakin' sweet. I'm SO excited!

Decipher Reflections From Reality

Short post time.

Last night was Homecoming, and I went because I thought that it would just be better to go with Bella, Sam, and Chad.

Of course Gina and Jason were there. Oh yeah, seeing his arm around her and seeing them holding hands was great.

I don't know if I'm glad I went. I guess if I didn't, then I would have been wondering the whole time... Either way, it would have sucked.

I'm Calming Down

"I'm Calming Down" is a super awesome song by Lights Out Dancing. It's a really happy song about how life is worth living and all the things that make it good. Not only are the lyrics good, but the music is cool too :)

I guess I am calming down (maybe because of the song). It still really sucks that Gina and Jason are going to Homecoming, though. And I'm ashamed to say it, but if I didn't know that he totally likes her, then I would delude myself into believing he likes me. I think he's just naturally a really sweet guy though, and that's what keeps messing me up.

All this stuff happened at Floatbuilding (Woot! Done!) yesterday. Where should I begin? How about, he held my bag for me when we went to go put it in Mrs. Correa's room. Okay, when has a guy EVER done that before? Or maybe, when we were looking at the Minny and Mickey painting, and after I told him I drew Minny, he kept complimenting me, saying things like, "Wow, I think she's even better than the original picture (smile)." Maybe the fact that he gave me the duct tape flower he and Andy made, when every one else asked for it and I didn't. Okay, that's a little elementary school, but whatever haha. And for the Grand Finale: We did our handprints together. Gahh. It's hard for me to even talk about it, hah. Basically we alternated red and yellow on the fingers and then he did his palm red and I did mine yellow. And then we touched thumbs in the middle. So the first time we tried putting them on, I did my right hand and he did his left, and we had to cross over because I stood to the left and he stood to the right (if that makes sense). Just being close to him is... I can't explain. And after we put them on, and we both still had paint on, we touched hands together (kind of like a high five, but there was no motion and we kept it there for like 5 seconds). So anyways, our handprints are connected by the thumb and they have our initials under them.

I really really had to resist the urge to paint a + between the JM and OR.