Saturday, December 8, 2007

I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers

Hey ya'll. Just got back from Nicole's party (well kinda). It wasn't terrible. There's just a lot of stuff to think about which is kind of why I'm here.

1. Connor(because you all want to know): I'm speechless. Really. I don't know how I can convey this in cyberspace. Let's start with the fact that I talked to him. Multiple times. Okay, so far so good. I sat next to him on the couch... he played with my phone... I can't fucking believe he likes Alli. My God. Really, I don't think you know how I feel. Well, Nicole was right, they seriously do not talk. It's wrong to be mad at her; it's not like she's doing it to make me mad or something. You can't understand. I don't feel good. I feel sick. I sat next to Connor when he was playing guitar. That was a super huge deal for me. And then when I would get in his way or something and I needed to move, he would lightly guide me out of the way. Don't fucking congratulate me. This feeling is not good.

2. Nicole and Phil: Sickeningly sweet. Emphasis on the sickening. It's me being bitter, stupid, jealous. And seriously, I'm happy for them. I just want a guy to look at me the way Phil looks at Nicole.

3. Being lonely: It wasn't that bad. But I sure had to make it unbad. The deal was that Phil would stick with me so I wasn't left out the whole time. Yeah, right. Him and Nicole were all fucking over each other. It was good that Rachael was there, and I talked to Alicia and Danny too. Whatever.



That's all. And I can't even describe it right.

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