Hey ya'll. Just got back from Nicole's party (well kinda). It wasn't terrible. There's just a lot of stuff to think about which is kind of why I'm here.
1. Connor(because you all want to know): I'm speechless. Really. I don't know how I can convey this in cyberspace. Let's start with the fact that I talked to him. Multiple times. Okay, so far so good. I sat next to him on the couch... he played with my phone... I can't fucking believe he likes Alli. My God. Really, I don't think you know how I feel. Well, Nicole was right, they seriously do not talk. It's wrong to be mad at her; it's not like she's doing it to make me mad or something. You can't understand. I don't feel good. I feel sick. I sat next to Connor when he was playing guitar. That was a super huge deal for me. And then when I would get in his way or something and I needed to move, he would lightly guide me out of the way. Don't fucking congratulate me. This feeling is not good.
2. Nicole and Phil: Sickeningly sweet. Emphasis on the sickening. It's me being bitter, stupid, jealous. And seriously, I'm happy for them. I just want a guy to look at me the way Phil looks at Nicole.
3. Being lonely: It wasn't that bad. But I sure had to make it unbad. The deal was that Phil would stick with me so I wasn't left out the whole time. Yeah, right. Him and Nicole were all fucking over each other. It was good that Rachael was there, and I talked to Alicia and Danny too. Whatever.
That's all. And I can't even describe it right.
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