Pretty. Odd. is officially released on Tuesday, but it was on MTV's Leak, so of course I already have it on my iPod. It is fantastically awesome supercalifragilistic expialidoscious. My favorite songs are When the Day Met the Night, Folkin' Around, Northern Downpour, She Had the World, She's a Handsome Woman, That Green Gentleman, and Mad as Rabbits. I like quite a few of them, as you can see :)
So a lot has happened since I last posted, but there doesn't seem much to update on. I know I owe a biiig update but I don't know what I should talk about. I guess it's harder to talk about things if they don't really effect me or something. Okay, for this part, I'm going to try to not think about the fact that Nicole reads this.
I don't have a cute new crush to talk about. I can barely remember what the butterflies feel like, but that's a different story. For the record, I don't like TJ. I think the fact that all the girls want him makes him more attractive, but no, I don't like him. Anyways, Nicole does. Of course she's flirting with him and stuff, and OF COURSE he thinks she's cute. Yeah I'm jealous. I kind of said as much the other day, and she was like, "Well I have to work for it... I'm always the one to make the first move." As if she's denying the fact that she can get any guy? I don't really know. All I do know is that that somehow made it worse. I shouldn't be bitter about this. I don't even know why I'm being bitter! Something Nicole said in her blog pissed me off. She was talking about TJ and she's like, "He plays my favorite position in the sport he plays, and it also happens to the be the position that I love to play." (that's a direct quote) Is she even entitled to have a favorite position for baseball? And saying that it's the position she "loves to play"? What. The. Crap. No, honey, you don't play baseball, nor do you play softball. PE doesn't count. You don't know what it's like to play shortstop and obviously you aren't going to learn any time soon (thanks for bailing on that, by the way). You love to watch baseball, whatever. Stop trying to pass yourself off for someone who actually knows what it's like to play.
Should I explain why I don't have any patience for Nicole? I'll start with the most recent thing she's done. About a week ago, it was a time when I started to dislike Phil, and Nicole was already pissed and hating on him. I was talking to her about some of the things I didn't like (I know, that's not good anyways), and at the same time I was talking to Phil about how he changed. Eventually he was thankful that I told him and we got along, started talking about Connor. I was just telling him how Connor never acknowledges my existance and so I stopped trying to like say hi to him. Blah blah blah, Phil gets to, "He needs a girl like you. You see the girls he's gone for before? Alyssa and Alli. Both needy whiney bitches." As it's not out of character for Phil to say something like that, I didn't think anything of it. My big mistake was showing Nicole the conversation. Yeah, you guessed it, she showed Alli what Phil said. No fucking regard for how that would effect me (ie: hurting Phil, making me lose all his trust right after we made up). I got so mad at her. I was crying, and then she called and made it even worse and I hung up on her. We didn't talk for a few days, until I couldn't take it. We got it "settled" (even though obviously I don't think it's settled). The thing is, it really did not seem to effect her at all in that time that I didn't talk to her. She said she knew I "just needed time to calm down." Screw that.
You do have commitment issues, Nicole. I hardly believe anything that you say anymore, did you know that? Ever since you bailed on softball, which you built up so much. And right after that you were talking about trying lacrosse? Yeah, didn't believe that. I never believed you were going to do ASB, and I was right on that (and you built that up a lot too). I still don't believe that you're going to do softball next year. Every freaking thing you say, I don't care. I know this is going to hurt you knowing that I think about you like this, but you know what? Maybe I want to hurt you like you've hurt me.
Happy freaking Easter.
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