The Sharpest Lives

Give me a shot to remember,
And you can take all the pain away from me.
A kiss and I will surrender,
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead.
A light to burn all the empires,
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires,
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me.

Really, really, think about that one.

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Uhhh I'm not going to do a recap of everything I haven't updated on, because frankly, that would be far too long and boring. I just remembered why I have this blog and how nice it is to complain to nonexistant people. Oh, and this isn't exactly chronological order.

I still love Connor. It's sick, stupid, and a complete waste of time even thinking about it. I feel like an effing freak because I'm still heels over head for him and he doesn't even know I exist. Admit it, you would be wierded out if a complete stranger (well, what you thougth was a complete stranger) liked you. I want to talk to him. Interact with him in some way. I'm trying to work up the courage to be like, "Hey Connor! Do you remember me?" The opportunity just hasn't come up yet is all... And hey, you can tell me that you think I should just get over him, or you can try to help me get him. But I can't just get over him, alright?


Today was Freshmen Retreat. We had a 'motivational speaker' come. Keith Hawkins, you know, buttlock guy? He's really funny. We had to pick partners and Kathryn asked if I would be hers, so I said yeah. Then a little later Connor is going around like, "Does anyone need a partner? I'll be some one's partner!" I wanted to ditch Kathryn right then and there (sorry) and tell him I would be his. And then we had to like hold hands or whatever and it just killed me that it could have been with Connor. AUGHHH. And later I started crying when we were talking about past stuff that has devestated us and whatever.


Ginny doesn't like Sam anymore. Not just doesn't like, I mean DISlikes him. She's been just really annoyed with him this past week. It's not like she wants to be, but she just is. So she tells me all this stuff and today, guess what? Sam asked me if Ginny was mad at him, because she hasn't talked to him like all week. Well, what am I supposed to say? That was a really awkward position for me. The best I could do was tell him to try to talk to her about it or something. I don't know, email her.